Vol. 11 · pages 86–90

67 IN SEARCH OF NEW LIGHT I 16. To such a length in loathliness did he go that there became accumulated on his body the dirt and filth for years till it dropped off by itself. 17. He took up his abode in the awesome depths of the forest, depths so awesome that it was reputed that none but the senseless could venture without his hair standing on end. 18. When the cold season brought chill wintry nights, then it was that in the dark half of the months he dwelt by night in the open air and in the dark thicket by day. 19. But when there came the last broiling month of summer before the rains, he made his dwelling under the baking sun by day and in the stifling thicket by night. 20. In a charnel ground did he lay down with charred bones for pillow. 21. Thereafter Gautama lived on a single bean a day—on a single sesamum seed a day—or a single grain of rice a day. 22. When he was living on a single fruit a day, his body grew emaciated in the extreme. 23. If he sought to feel his belly, it was his backbone which he found in his grasp ; if he sought to feel his backbone he found himself grasping his belly, so closely did his belly cleave to his backbone and all because he ate so little. § 5. Abandonment of Asceticism 1. The austerities and mortification practised by Gautama were of the severest sort. They lasted for a long period of six years. 2. At the end of six years his body had become so weak that he was quite unable to move. 3. Yet he had seen no new light and was no nearer to the solution to the problem of misery in the world on which his mind was centred. 4. He reflected to himself : “This is not the way, even to passionlessness, nor to perfect knowledge, nor to liberation.

68 DR. BABASAHEB AMBEDKAR : WRITINGS AND SPEECHES I 5. “Some undergo misery for the sake of this world, others meet toil for the sake of heaven ; all living beings wretched through hope and always missing their aim, fall certainly for the sake of happiness into misery. 6. “Has not something like this happened to me ? 7. “It is not the effort itself which I blame,— which flinging aside the base pursues a high path of its own. 8. “What I ask is, ‘Can the mortification of the body be called religion ?’ 9. “Since it is only by the mind’s authority that the body either acts or ceases to act, therefore, to control the thought is alone befitting—without thought the body is like a dog. 10. “If there was only the body to be considered, merit may be gained by purity of food, but then there is merit also in the doer. But of what good is it ? 11. “New light cannot be attained by him who has lost his strength and is wearied with hunger, thirst and fatigue with his mind no longer self-possessed through fatigue. 12. “How could he who is not absolutely calm, reach the end which is to be attained by his mind ? 13. “True calm and the self-possession of the mind is properly obtained by the constant satisfaction of the body’s wants.” 14. At this time there lived at Uruvela a house-holder by name Senani. Sujata was his daughter. 15. Sujata had uttered a wish to a Banyan Tree, and vowed a yearly offering to it if she should have a son. 16. The wish having been fulfilled, she sent her maid Punna to prepare the place for the offering. 17. Punna finding Gautama sitting beneath the Banyan Tree, thought he was the god of the tree who had come down. 18. Sujata came and offered Gautama the food prepared by her in a golden bowl. 19. He took the bowl to the river bank, bathed

69 IN SEARCH OF NEW LIGHT I at a ford or a bathing place called Suppatitthita and ate the food. 20. Thus ended his trial of asceticism. 21. The five ascetics who were with Gautama became angry with him for having given up the life of austerity and self-mortification and in disgust left him.

PART IV Enlightenment and the Vision of a New Way 1. Meditation for New Light. 2. Enlightenment. 3. The Discovery of a New Dhamma. 4. Gautama who was a Bodhisatta after Sammabodhi becomes a Buddha.