Vol. 11 · pages 181–185

163 CALL FROM HOME II § 1. Suddhodana and the Last Look 1. After the conversion of Sariputta and Moggallana the Lord stayed in Rajagraha for two months. 2. Having heard that the Lord was residing at Rajagraha, Suddhodana, his father, sent word to him saying : “I wish to see my son before I die. Others have had the benefit of his doctrine, but not his father nor his relatives.” 3. The man with whom the message was sent was Kaludayin, the son of one of the courtiers of Suddhodana. 4. And the messenger on arrival said: “O, worldhonoured Tathagata, your father looks for your coming, as the lily longs for the rising of the sun.” 5. The Blessed One consented to the request of his father and set out on the journey to his father’s house accompanied by a large number of his disciples. 6. The Lord journeyed by slow stages. But Kaludayin went ahead of him to inform Suddodhana that the Blessed One was coming and was on his way. 7. Soon the tidings spread in the Sakya country. “Prince Siddharth, who wandered forth from home into homelessness to obtain enlightenment, having attained his purpose, is coming home to Kapilavatsu.” This was on the lips of every one. 8. Suddhodana and Mahaprajapati went out with their relatives and ministers to meet their son. When they saw their son from afar, they were struck with his beauty and dignity and his lustre and they rejoiced in their heart, but they could find no words to utter. 9. This indeed was their son ; these were the features of Siddharth ! How near was the great Samana to their heart and yet what a distance lay between them ! That noble muni was no longer Siddharth their son ; he was now the Buddha, the Blessed One, the Holy One, Lord of Truth and Teacher of Mankind ! 10. Suddhodana, considering the religious dignity of their son, descended from the chariot and having saluted him first, said : “It is now seven years since

164 DR. BABASAHEB AMBEDKAR : WRITINGS AND SPEECHES II we saw you. How we have longed for this moment.” 11. Then the Buddha took a seat opposite his father, and the king eagerly gazed at his son. He longed to call him by his name but he dared not. “Siddharth,” he exclaimed silently in his heart, “Siddharth, come back to your old father and be his son again.” But seeing the determination of his son, he suppressed his sentiments. Desolation overcame him and Mahaprajapati. 12. Thus the father sat face to face with his son, rejoicing in his sadness and sad in his rejoicing. Well may he be proud of his son, but his pride broke down at the idea that his great son would never be his heir. 13. “I would offer thee my kingdom,” said the king, “but if I did, thou wouldst account it but as ashes.” 14. And the Lord said : “I know that the king’s heart is full of love and that for his son’s sake he feels deep grief. But let the ties of love that bind you to the son whom you lost, embrace with equal kindness all your fellow-beings, and you will receive in his place a greater one than your son Siddharth ; you will receive one who is the teacher of truth, the preacher of righteousness, and the bringer of peace and of Nirvana will enter into your heart.” 15. Suddhodana trembled with joy when he heard the melodious words of his son, the Buddha, and clasping his hands, exclaimed with tears in his eyes : “Wonderful is the change! The overwhelming sorrow has passed away. At first my sorrowing heart was heavy but now I reap the fruit of your great renunciation. It was right that moved by your mighty sympathy, you should reject the pleasures of power and achieve your noble purpose in religious devotion. Having found the path you can now preach your Dhamma to all that yearn for deliverance.” 16. Suddhodana returned to his house while the Buddha remained in the grove with his companions. 17. The next morning the Blessed Lord took his bowl and set out to beg for his food in Kapilavatsu. 18. And the news spread : “Siddharth is going

165 CALL FROM HOME II from house to house to receive alms in the city where he used to ride in a chariot attended by his retinue. His robe is like a red clod and he holds in his hand an earthen bowl.” 19. On hearing the strange rumour, Suddhodana went forth in great haste and exclaimed : “Why do you disgrace me thus ? Do you not know that I can easily supply you and your Bhikkus with food ?” 20. And the Lord replied: “It is the custom of my Order.” 21. “But how can this be ? You are not one of them that ever begged for food.” 22. “Yes, father,” rejoined the Lord, “You and your race may claim descent from kings; my descent is from the Buddhas of old. They begged their food, and always lived on alms.” 23. Suddhodana made no reply, and the Blessed One continued: “It is customary, when one has found a hidden treasure, for him to make an offering of the most precious jewel to his father. Suffer me, therefore, to offer you this treasure of mine which is the Dhamma.” 24. And the Blessed Lord told his father: “If you free yourself from dreams, if you open your mind to truth, if you be energetic, if you practise righteousness, you will find eternal bliss.” 25. Suddhodana heard the words in silence and replied: “My son ! What thou sayst will I endeavour to fulfil.” § 2. Meeting Yeshodhara and Rahula 1. Then Suddhodana conducted the Blessed Lord into his house and all the members of the family greeted him with great reverence. 2. But Yeshodhara, the mother of Rahula, did not make her appearance.” Suddhodana sent for Yeshodhara, but she replied: “Surely, if I am deserving of any regard, Siddhartha will come and see me.” 3. The Blessed One, having greeted all his

166 DR. BABASAHEB AMBEDKAR : WRITINGS AND SPEECHES II relatives and friends, asked: “Where is Yeshodhara ?” and on being informed that she had refused to come, he rose straightaway and went to her apartment. 4. “I am free,” the Blessed One said to his disciples Sariputta and Moggallana whom he had bidden to accompany him into Yeshodhara’s chamber; “But Yeshodhara, however, is not as yet free. Not having seen me for a long time, she is exceedingly sorrowful. Unless her grief be allowed to run its course her heart will cleave. Should she touch the Tathagata, the Holy One, you must not prevent her.” 5. Yeshodhara sat in her room in deep reflection. When the Blessed One entered, she was, from the abundance of her affection, like an overflowing vessel, unable to contain herself. 6. Forgetting that the man whom she loved was Buddha, the Lord of the World, the Preacher of Truth, she held him by his feet and wept bitterly. 7. Remembering, however, that Suddhodana was present, she felt ashamed and rose up, sitting herself reverently at a little distance. 8. Suddhodana apologized for Yeshodhara, saying: “This arises from her deep affection, and is more than a temporary emotion. During the seven years that she has lost her husband, when she heard that Siddharth had shaved his head, she did likewise; when she heard that he had left off the use of perfumes and ornaments she also refused their use. Like her husband she has eaten at appointed times from an earthen bowl only. 9. “If this is more than a temporary emotion it is not for want of courage.” 10. And the Blessed One spoke to Yeshodhara telling of her great merits and the great courage she showed when he took Parivraja. Her purity, her gentleness, her devotion had been invaluable to him as a Bodhisattva when he aspired to the highest aim of mankind to attain enlightenment. This, then, was her karma, and it was the result of great merits. 11. Her grief had been unspeakable, and the glory that surrounded her spiritual inheritance increased