Vol. 11 · pages 51–55

32 DR. BABASAHEB AMBEDKAR : WRITINGS AND SPEECHES I 22. Gautami and Suddhodana kept silent. 23. Then Siddharth went to the apartment of Yeshodhara. Seeing her, he stood silent, not knowing what to say and how to say it. She broke the silence by saying : “I have heard all that has happened at the meeting of the Sangh at Kapilavatsu.” 24. He asked her:—“Yeshodhara, tell me what you think of my decision to take Parivraja ?” 25. He expected she would collapse. Nothing of the kind happened. 26. With full control over her emotions, she replied : “What else could I have done if I were in your position ? I certainly would not have been a party to a war on the Koliyas. 27. “Your decision is the right decision. You have my consent and my support. I too would have taken Parivraja with you. If I do not, it is only because I have Rahula to look after. 28. “I wish it had not come to this. But we must be bold and brave and face the situation. Do not be anxious about your parents and your son. I will look after them till there is life in me. 29. “All I wish is that now that you are becoming a Parivrajaka leaving behind all who are near and dear to you, you will find a new way of life which would result in the happiness of mankind.” 30. Siddharth Gautama was greatly impressed. He realised as never before what a brave, courageous and noble-minded woman Yeshodhara was, and how fortunate he was in having her as his wife and how fate had put them asunder. He asked her to bring Rahula. He cast his fatherly look on him and left. § 18. Leaving His Home 1. Siddharth thought of taking Parivraja at the hands of Bharadwaja who had his Ashram at Kapilavatsu. Accordingly he rose the next day and started for the Ashram on his favourite horse Kanthaka with his servant Channa walking along. 2. As he came near the Ashram, men and women

33 FROM BIRTH TO PARIVRAJA I came out and thronged the gates to meet him as a newly arrived bridegroom. 3. And when they came up to him, their eyes wide open in wonder, they performed their due homage with hands folded like a lotus calyx. 4. Then they stood surrounding him, their minds overpowered by passion, as if they were drinking him in with their eyes motionless and blossoming wide with love. 5. Some of the women verily thought that he was Kama incarnate, decorated as he was with his brilliant signs as with connate ornaments. 6. Others thought from his gentleness and his majesty that it was the moon with its ambrosial beams as it were visibly come down to the earth. 7. Others, smitten by his beauty, yawned as if to swallow him, and fixing their eyes on each other, softly sighed. 8. Thus the women only looked upon him, simply gazing with their eyes. They spoke not, nor did they smile. They surrounded him and stood aghast thinking of his decision to take Parivraja. 9. With great difficulty he extricated himself from the crowd and entered the gates of the Ashram. 10. Siddharth did not like Suddhodana and Prajapati Gautami to be present to witness his Parivraja. For he knew that they would break down under the weight of grief. But they had already reached the Ashram without letting him know. 11. As he entered the compound of the Ashram he saw in the crowd his father and mother. 12. Seeing his parents he first went to them and asked for their blessing. They were so choked with emotion that they could hardly say a word. They wept and wept, held him fast and bathed him with their tears. 13. Channa had tied Kanthaka to a tree in the Ashram and was standing. Seeing Suddhodana and Prajapati in tears he too was overcome with emotion and was weeping. 14. Separating himself with great difficulty from

34 DR. BABASAHEB AMBEDKAR : WRITINGS AND SPEECHES I his parents, Siddharth went to the place where Channa was standing. He gave him his dress and his ornaments to take back home. 15. Then he had his head shaved, as was required for a Parivrajaka. His cousin Mahanama had brought the clothes appropriate for a Parivrajaka and a begging bowl. Siddharth wore them. 16. Having thus prepared himself to enter the life of a Parivrajaka, Siddharth approached Bharadwaja to confer on him Parivraja. 17. Bharadwaja with the help of his disciples performed the necessary ceremonies and declared Siddharth Gautama to have become a Parivrajaka. 18. Remembering that he had given a double pledge to the Sakya Sangh to take Parivraja and to leave the Sakya kingdom without undue delay, Siddharth Gautama immediately on the completion of the Parivraja ceremony started on his journey. 19. The crowd which had collected in the Ashram was unusually large. That was because the circum- stances leading to Gautama’s Parivraja were so extra- ordinary. As the prince stepped out of the Ashram the crowd also followed him. 20. He left Kapilavatsu and proceeded in the direction of the river Anoma. Looking back he saw the crowd still following him. 21. He stopped and addressed them, saying : “Brothers and sisters, there is no use your following me. I have failed to settle the dispute between the Sakyas and the Koliyas. But if you create public opinion in favour of settlement you might succeed. Be, therefore, so good as to return.” Hearing his appeal, the crowd started going back. 22. Suddhodana and Gautami also returned to the palace. 23. Gautami was unable to bear the sight of the robes and the ornaments discarded by Siddharth. She had them thrown into a lotus pool. 24. Siddharth Gautama was only twenty-nine when he underwent Parivraja (Renunciation). 25. People admired him and sighed for him,

35 FROM BIRTH TO PARIVRAJA I saying : “Here was a Sakya blessed with high lineage, noble parentage, possessed of considerable riches, in the bloom of youthful vigour, accomplished in mind and body, brought up in luxury, who fought his kinsmen for the sake of maintaining peace on earth and goodwill towards men. 26. “Here was a Sakya youth who when out voted by his kinsmen refused to submit but preferred to undergo voluntary punishment which involved the exchange of riches for poverty, comfort for alms, home for homelessness. And so he goes with none in the world to care for him and with nothing in the world which he could claim as his own. 27. “His was an act of supreme sacrifice willingly made. His is a brave and a courageous act. There is no parallel to it in the history of the world. He deserves to be called a Sakya Muni or Sakya Sinha.” 28. How true were the words of Kisa Gotami, a Sakya maiden. When referring to Siddharth Gautama, she said : “Blessed indeed is the mother, blessed indeed is the father, who has such a son. Blessed indeed is the wife who has such a husband.” § 19. The Prince and the Servant 1. Channa too should have gone back home with Kanthaka. But he refused to go. He insisted on seeing the Prince off with Kanthaka at least to the banks of the river Anoma and so insistent was Channa that the Gautama had to yield to his wishes. 2. At last they reached the banks of the river Anoma. 3. Then turning to Channa he said : “Good friend, thy devotion to me has been proved by thy thus following me. I am wholly won in heart by thee, ye who have such a love for your master. 4. “I am pleased with your noble feelings towards me, even though I am powerless of conferring any reward. 5. “Who would not be favourably disposed to one who stands to him as bringing him reward ? But

36 DR. BABASAHEB AMBEDKAR : WRITINGS AND SPEECHES I even one’s own people commonly become mere strangers in a reverse of fortune. 6. “A son is brought up for the sake of the family, the father is honoured by the son for the sake of his own future support ; the world shows kindness for the sake of hope ; there is no such thing as unselfishness without a motive. 7. “Thou art the only exception. Take now this horse and return. 8. “The king, with his loving confidence, still unshaken, must be enjoined to stay his grief. 9. “Tell him, I have left him—with no thirst for heaven, with no lack of love, nor feeling of anger. 10. “He should not think of mourning for me who am thus gone forth from my home ; union, however long it may last, in time will come to an end. 11. “Since separation is certain, how shall there not be repeated severings from one’s kindred ? 12. “At a man’s death there are doubtless heirs to his wealth but heirs to his merit are hard to find on the earth or exist not at all. 13. “The king, my father, requires to be looked after. The king may say, ‘ He is gone at a wrong time.’ But there is no wrong time for duty. 14. “Do thou address the king, O friend, with these and suchlike words ; and do thou use thy efforts so that he may not even remember me. 15. “Yes, do thou repeat to my mother my utter unworthiness to deserve her affection. She is a noble person, too noble for words.” 16. Having heard these words, Channa, over whelmed with grief, made reply with folded hands, his voice choked by emotion : 17. “Seeing that ye are causing affliction to thy kindred, my mind, O my Lord, sinks down like an elephant in a river of mud. 18. “To whom would not such a determination as this of thine, cause tears, even if his heart were of iron—how much more if it were throbbing with love ? 19. “Where is gone this delicacy of limb, fit to lie only in a palace, and where is the ground of the